Hot pools, cold pools, just-right pools, clear pools, red pools, outdoor pools, the Elizeium Baths got them all and much more. The elves love a good bath, but the bathhouse is also a place to socialize, eat, exercise, and engage in any number of activities. But before all that, you need wash in the soap room and get that travel-grime off. So, what are you waiting for? Pick your soap and get scrubbing!
Cheeky Content
This page contain elven shenanigans that may not be suitable for shy human eyes, such as suggestive themes, crude humor, and butts. Viewer discretion is advised.
Enter the Soap Room
Oh, what is this? A human? Greetings!
We don’t get many of your kin here. First time at the baths? Fantastic!
Can you read Elven, or should I translate the rules? Can I help you undress? No need to be shy.
Bath Rules
Behave Proper
We ask that you leave your troubles from the outside world at the gates. The baths are a place to relax, a shared refuge from the toil of our lives. No matter who you are on the outside, in here, everyone is your equal, your friend, your fellow kin seeking to enjoy what is best in life—a bath.
Be Naked
Leave your clothes, weapons, and other belongings with the basket attendants. From this point you can only wear a towel. Simple jewelry and piercings are allowed, but nothing that aims to show off your wealth.
Wash Before Bathing
We work hard to keep the pools clean, so you better be too before you enter. Scrub well. Behind your ears too.
Obey the Peacekeepers
The rules apply to everyone! Prince or beggar, if you can’t behave, we will throw you out just the same.
Soap Room Notice Board
Hey Idiot!
Yes, you! I can’t believe I have to write this…
Watch out for the WET FLOOR
Shocker, I know, who could have thought the floor might be wet in a bathhouse… Maybe you could try walking without falling on your ass? How hard is it, honestly? Kindly, Joy, the Trainee
Need Help?
Too lazy to get your food? Want a massage? Need a good scrubbing? The Bath Attendants dressed in yellow will help you with any reasonable requests, for a fee, of course.
Is There Trouble?
Is someone not following the rules? Behaving like a fool?
Speak to a Peacekeeper dressed in black.
No pets or hatchlings
Leave them at our caretaker in the lobby. That goes for Valari snakes too
Bath Alchemist Inspection Certificate of Extraordinary Excellence
AAA
All tests passed
Clean Facilities • Clean Water • Clean Servants
No Snuggling on the Ground Floor!
Platonic hugs are acceptable.
For that, you should get your butt to the top floor!
Pick up the “Elves of Culture” guide to learn more.
What’s Your Smell?
Soap Maker’s Guild Mini Soap Bar Mini Bar
Our Soap Collection
Browse our extensive collection of soaps for your bathing pleasure.
Grey Soap is included for free. Boring and smells a bit funky, but effective.
Soap Benefits
- Deep Cleaning
- Gunk Cleansing
- Moisturizing
- Mildly Healing
- Alluring Scents
- Lesser Kin Safe
Basic Soaps
- Potent Peaches
- Pink Flower
- Lavender Death
- Zesty Cephalopod (new)
- Bonk on the Beach
- Creamy Core
- Itty-Bitty Clean Kitty
- Snake Charmer
Luxury Soaps
- Outrageous Craving (Warning: slightly addictive)
- “Oops, I dropped it”
- Stiff Oak
- Spicy Surprise
- Whistle Cleaner
Extravagant Soaps
- Moist & Musky
- Brisk Boogaloo
- Apple of the Pine
- Serene Bloodbath
- Spunky Spearmint (extra tangy)
Absurdly Fancy Soaps
- Miranda’s Muffin
- Fainting Princess
- Forbidden Fruit
- Salty Clam
- Father’s Elderberries
Time for a Proper Scrub
Marbles: Wow, you are so brave, Abby! You think you can best Sejal?
Abby: Ha, I’m not worried about that silly girl.
Marbles: I so hope you will win.
Bob: Come on, Marbles, this is the express line. Stop flirting with the customers. Abby and I need to get to practice.
Marbles: Shut it, Bob. I’m not working in your bath any longer…
But your muscles must be achy after so much practice. How about a nice massage afterwards?
Bob: Now that you mention it, that does sound pretty nice. Good upsell, too.
Marbles: I wasn’t asking you, Bob.
