Lily’s Diary
I had been so busy writing the Scarlet Scroll that I never really paid attention to the other scrolls and pamphlets Fiona prints… What is this? Magazine Butts? Special Interest Literature?
Cheeky Content
This page contain elven shenanigans that may not be suitable for shy human eyes, such as suggestive themes, crude humor, and butts. Viewer discretion is advised.
Hey, Lily!
Did you get my latest pamphlet from the printers?
I want to see how the center spread turned out.
Oh my… That’s a spread alright… Wait – Is that Perry?
Sure is! I convinced him to join. He puts up a strong showing in the competition, wouldn’t you say? That boy is going places! His input was invaluable when helping me with all the bathhouse reviews, too.
Bath reviews? Like we did at Elizeium for the scroll?
Well… Not quite. You might call these reviews more… exhaustive…
Butts: The Discerning Elf’s Special Interest Literature
Issue 669
A pamphlet published by the Fiona Truetale Bloodpress printing circle.
100 pages!
We’ve got every kin, shape, and taste covered… or uncovered.
Limited print. Pinch one for posteriority.
Headlines
Top 10 Best Bathhouses
Meticulously tested & reviewed by Fiona & novice Perry.
Sejal Crane
Cover butt – deep dive dialogue.
Tush of the Year
Champion’s sister craves the booty.
Amber Ass-essment
The backside of being see-through.
9 Uses for a Fiend’s Tail
Reader survey
Answer 6 question and win a relaxing buttocks massage.
Help us find brand-spanking-new content for BUTTS. Thanks for participating!
1. Preference in special interest literature? (Multiple answers allowed)
- Female
- Seer
- Male
- Anything with a butt
2. Favorite elf kin?
- Crimson
- Amber
- Lerna
- Fiend
- Valari
- Other/rare elf
3. Favorite lesser kin? (You kinky bugger)
- Human
- Vittra
- Rindr
- Avia
- Marionette
- Other
- I have standards. Only elves for me, thank you very much.
4. Favorite bathhouse in Bloodworth? (Read our full reviews on page 73)
- The Elizeium Baths: The largest bath and the top floor snuggle dome never disappoints.
- Cheeky Flaunter: Big window to the main street, not for the shy. What you see is what you get.
- Forbidden Fancy: Amber establishment – A bath in the style of the far west, EXOTIC.
- Pools of Bob: Sorry to all his fans, but the baths don’t quite live up to the legend of Bob Baron.
- The Shiny Ear: Personal ear scrubbing included – We’ve never been cleaner.
- Double Dip: Famous for their two-for-one deals – We had two each. Double or nothing, right?
- The Bonk Bucket: Best bonk for the buck… What more is there to say?
- Moist Muffin: The new place that started the steam-seat craze. We smell like roses now.
- Extravagance: Tower Ward prices, but darkness… A nap to recover afterwards is mandatory.
- The Life Well: Vittra establishment – If you love nature and don’t mind a hike outside the gates.
- Dungeon Crawl: Fiend establishment – If my bum wasn’t already red… It sure is now.
- Tepid Barrel: Human establishment – No public pool, only barrels, but solid private service.
- Other
5. Vote for TUSH OF THE YEAR (All nominees depicted on the center spread)
- Bob baron ravenwood (Crimson male, reigning champion)
- Miranda Ravenwood (Crimson female)
- Aroish (Valari female)
- Sejal Crane (Crimson seer)
- Perry Belgrath (Crimson male)
- Maple Goldleaf (Vittra spirit)
- Erin Evans (Human female)
- Ahtep Ri (Amber seer)
- Samantha “Silver” (Lerna female)
- Thylia Tawse (Fiend female)
- Abby Lark (Crimson female)
- Ef (Marionette spirit, body crafted by Theodolf’s wood & brass working circle)
6. What would you like to see in our next issue? Answer on the back.
About you
- Name
- Kin
- Address
Drop off your survey at
Butts Magazine
Fiona’s Bloodpress Ci.
Artisan Sector 16
We’ll send the bum kneader to 10 lucky winners!
